As the new year starts I am reflecting back on 2011 and the challenges I faced along with my family, my friends and my collegues. We all have crosses to bear and it is how we carry them that teaches us how to manage the journey. It was an extremely challenging year but I can honestly say that it was one that has taught me so many things about myself. I discovered that I have more inner strength than I ever imagined but at the same time that same inner strength was tested on so many different levels by so many different circumstances.
When we go through life we don't always see what we are meant to see at that point in time. As I reflect back on the past year I see things in a different light....maybe time needs to pass in order for all of the pieces to fit together and to make sense.
Kari showed up on my doorstep in November of 2010 needing my help but little did I know then that she is the one that taught me things about myself that I never knew...or perhaps didn't think I needed to learn. I don't quite know what all of that is at this moment but I had a profound moment that I believe has changed me!
It was on December 8th (Kari's birthday) that I got a wink from God...or a whisper in the ear or maybe it was a tap on the shoulder but any way you want to say it I got a message...this one from Kari! I had told my husband Tony that on this day I wanted to go to Kari's grave to take her a gift. It was something I had planned on but when that day came I found myself questioning my decision. I thought to myself "Kari is in my heart....do I really need to go to her grave...it's a long drive...it's rush hour"...a whole bunch of waffling as I called it. I got home from work and Tony asked if we were going. We went into the kitchen and I started to talk to him about all of the thoughts I was having. He finally looked at me and said "Katherine...I don't know what to say to you"....at that very moment the phone rang. I answered it and the girl on the other line asked for Kari! I got off the phone, looked at Tony and he immediately said "We are going"......no one has called our house for her since she moved out a year ago and we get a call at that very moment of indecisiveness on her birthday!! No question it was Kari.....it was a Katherine, you know what you want to do so just do it!
My Mother said it best... "I can talk myself out of any situation"....I have a tendency to not listen to my intuition and not trust my abilities. I need to..as most of us do...slow down and take in what is being offered to us on a daily basis. There is so much more to this life that is so much bigger and if we take the time to be aware and open to it it can bring us peace and contentment and a life of constant learning and understanding.
I believe that phone call changed my life in a profound way and it was the first of many lessons that Kari will teach me....each time I think of her and our last chapter together I gain more understanding and appreciation for what I will be able to learn from her.....
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce
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