Share the Love

There are many things in my life that remind me of Kari....the "Auntie Angel Pin" Kari gave me that I keep pinned to the zipper in my purse... I see it every day and I think of Kari every day. Perfume, bracelets, a plant to name only a few. Kari had a spider plant which her mother Charlene, my sister, took home and is nuturing. Everytime it produces new shoots she clips them and gives them to people she loves. I got to take home 2, one for me and one for Anthony. The other day I found the perfect pot for them and I have them sitting on my kitchen table....I will also share the love when my plant is mature enough to sprout.  

The smallest of things or the simplest, happiest moments shared are the ones that carry the most weight in the memories department. Kari isn't with us in body but I know she is here in spirit....I am learning to open up my heart so that I am tuned in to the moments when she may "come by". 

My mind is always going and I am constantly thinking...it is hard to turn it off sometimes. One of the things I have been concentrating on is how to display some of the jewelry I have been making. I take in all sorts of ideas until it finally clicks with what I want. I try and try and try and I'm still not satisfied. I may have finally come up with a great idea....for now anyway. I was in Winners yesterday with my best friend and the minute I saw this bulletin board I knew I had to have it....no "should I?"was even uttered. I picked up some clear stick pins and put everything on it. Love it!  



"It"

I have been creating earrings, bracelets and necklaces for about 6 months now and I think I have finally found my "it" piece. It has almost felt like Kari has been sitting with me..."hey Auntie try this"...or "I would do this" steering my creativity towards my own identity. It took a while but I think that this neclace is exactly what I have been somehow working towards.... I tried alot of stuff with the seed beads then on to the bigger beads.....tons of different earrings and a few different styles of necklaces. I am always drawn to the funkier side and I love silver. I had purchased some pendants and the note on the package said "Replace with your own photo"....for a few of them I didn't since the picture that was already in it was actually quite funky on it's own. It hit me one day to put pink butterflies in them...one both sides. I added the "bling" as Kari loved to add bling to everything she had.

The time spent getting to this point is representative of life...you can't rush the process. You may have an idea of where you want to be but you have no idea of what it will take to get there. Every step you take may not lead straight ahead and may actually be a speed bump but ultimately I believe with patience, faith and trust we will get there. When we do there will be such a sense of peace and joy and we will know that the tribulations we faced made us stronger and more accepting of the journey.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the only one who'll decide where you'll go. ~Dr. Seuss

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.  ~Agnes Repplier

How often do you find yourself saying "well if only they would do this, if only they would say this, if only......" there are too many" if only's" in life. 
I am learning that you can't worry about the if only's...one big one for me is accepting that it is not up to someone else to make me happy. I have high expectations on what happines is and when I don't see actions in other people I get frustrated. A compliment, a kind word or an act of compassion or empathy goes such a long way.  I have decided that I am in control of my own happiness and I can't/shouldn't look to someone else to act in a certain way or say certain things in order to bring the happiness. It is easier said than done but I truly believe that I will be blessed in so many ways if I take control of my person and my happiness. Why should I worry about what someone else wants to do or doesn't want to do...if I want to do it then I am going to do it. Like my Mother says "you only have one chance at this thing called life" and why should we waste any precious moment wishing someone else could do something or say something to make us happy. We are in charge....we are the master of our own domain!   


Try to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment. ~Sidney Smith

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light: "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way. ~- Sharon Salzberg

Pink Flutter moment!

Last night Anthony woke me at 1:00 a.m to tell me that there were monsters in his head. I took him back to bed and we talked about how he should think of good things and the monsters will get chased away. When he woke up this morning he came and said to me "Mamma...I thought of all of my good things: my toys, my Tim Horton's cheddar cheese bagel that I will be having for breakfast and my special angels Kari and Jayda" We then shared a very big hug!!!!  I truly believe that Kari visits often but more so with Anthony...they have a connection that will never be broken. We love you xox

Perfect fit!

I made some butterfly earrings and was not really sure about them....I put them with the rest of my creations...they seemed to stand out. They were different than everything else on the table and didn't seem to fit with the other designs.....until.......my beautiful niece Sara put them on...it was the perfect fit!