In time you will know

It has been almost a year since Kari passed away..... It is so hard to imagine that the time has gone so quickly. It has been a year of many ups and downs as I try and deal with my loss. Mine is of course so much different than her Mother's, her Father's, her Sister's and most of all her children's. We all had our own relationship with Kari and are dealing and trying to understand it in our own way.

I can say that through her passing there has come some understanding, not about what happened or why it happened because I still try and piece it together. There is no way that I can but my mind wants to balance the scales....I am a true Libra. The understanding comes in the form of my spirituality. I have been what could be referred to a a sideliner.....I would watch and listen and take away what I thought I should at the time. Now I feel like I am in the centre of the learning and growing and understanding. There is still so much to discover about this life that we have been given but I feel like I am ready to really "see" things in the way I am meant to. I feel like I am getting ready to bust out of my own coccoon....that my purpose is being unveiled... 

I have decided that I am going to slow down and make a point to see something everyday. Take a minute to really look at someone, or something or even a situation. It's quite an amazing feeling to have that moment sink deep within your soul and see it differently. I had a revelation of a moment that happened last year. I don't remember alot of the small details from the past but this one has stuck with me and I have finally figured out why. 

It was Friday morning at the daycare the day after Kari's Celebration of Life. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were dropping Anthony at daycare so that we could go and golf in the Treasure Life golf tournament. While we were waiting for the doors to open at 7:00 a semi truck drove up to the 4 way stop. On the passenger side door were the words "Kay Jay Trucking". At the time I noticed the name and thought...wow..that's cool. Looking back at it now I have finally figured it out....it was Kari....."hey guys here I am"....she wanted to get a glimpse of us and for us to get a glimpse of her. It took me a year to appreciate this moment for what I think it was. I know that some people would say "Oh, it's just a coincidence" but in my mind it was Kari......   

Take the time to really see..and to appreciate what is in your life. It is such a wonderful experience!

I love you Kari and I miss you....