Uncertainty

It has been a while since I have written and I could say that it is because it is summer and we have been busy. That would be partly true...we have had a busy wonderful summer doing everything that summer brings. We have gone on a couple of awesome vacations, enjoyed the many activities Edmonton has to offer and spent time with family and friends. My son recently turned 6....another year has passed and a new chapter is about to begin. He starts Grade 1 in 2 weeks which I find hard to accept at times...he was just a baby not so long ago!

The main reason I have not written is because I have not known what to say. I am feeling a bit "lost" in my creativity and life journey. I have had a knot of creativity in my heart for so many years waiting to bust out and make it's presence known...I can feel it trying so desperately to appear. 

I have been making jewelry, which I truly enjoy but don't quite know if it is "my passion"....I know it was one of Kari's passions.  I made pieces I hoped would reflect why I had started, which was to keep Kari close to me. I felt her spirit with me the minute I put the first bead on that string. I don't want to lose that feeling and I am scared that if the jewelry making doesn't continue that I will lose that connection......Totally silly to say I know but a feeling none the less. I have never known exactly what my passion is....I joke that I don't know what I want to be when I grow up! I truly wish I did. I have grown in so many ways, personally, professionally and spiritually and I do hope that the butterfly emerges from it's cocoon and shows me the flight path.....

I have a solar butterly light in my garden which I have never seen work. The other night when I went to bed I asked Kari to visit as I really was needing that. The next night after Anthony's birthday party Tony and I sat in the backyard to unwind. I told Tony about my wish and he said "Well I think she heard you". He pointed to the garden and the butterfly light was shining so bright...flickering red, then blue..green and yellow. It was a heart warming scene and "I thank you Kari" xox

I will continue with the jewelry because I do love it....perhaps Kari will throw me an idea that I will be able to say "That's it!"...