Sunday afternoon

It was a wonderful Sunday! Cleaned house amidst the aroma of pasta sauce simmering on the stove. Anthony anticipated the lasagna all afternoon and when it finally came time to eat, wolfed down 2 great big bowls!!! Way to go Daddy! DELICIOUS.......
It has been a while since I sat down to make any jewelry and part of my happiness project is get reconnected to the jewelry and Kari......that brings a smile to my heart....I'm sure she would like what I came up with today.

The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy; I mean that if you are happy you will be good.

- Bertrand Russell

Happiness

A very good friend of mine had been talking recently about a book that she was reading called the "Happiness Project". It sounded like she was really enjoying it. I hadn't thought much about it until I spent yesterday afternoon with this same friend. We walked into Chapter's and she said "I am buying this book for you". I replied by saying "Well I could just borrow yours when you are done". She would have nothing to do with that and proceeded to buy me a copy. The only thing she said about it after was "Promise me you will read the first chapter...January". I took it home where I was alone for a couple of hours (this is a rare occurrance)...sat on the couch in the sunshine and opened the book. I did read January....February and March! I am hooked. The book enables you to take a look at your own life and find ways that can bring more happiness to it. Most of us are generally happy people. I am for the most part but after reading a few chapters I realize that there are ways that I can change the way I behave and react to the people close to me which can only result in happiness and inner peace. I am grateful for my friends, family and the life that has been given to me. I am the only one that is in complete charge of how happy I am and I look forward to learning and growing and seeing what my Happiness Project will bring. I would recommend this book to anyone........Happy reading!!!

I have been truly blessed to have wonderful people in my life. For the past couple of months I have been walking at lunch time with 2 of my work collegues. We have formed a really nice relationship, alot of which revolves around great conversations exploring spirituality. I am not a religious person but can say that I am spiritual. I believe there is more to life than we can possibly know and I trust that we will all find out one day. One conversation revolved around Anthony and I had said that I am so excited every day when I drive to pick him up after work.... I can't wait to see him and ask him about his day. I was told that this is the way God feels when he sees us. We are his children and he has plans for us. That one little sentence meant so much and really put so much into perspective. It sounds so simple and so easy to understand. When you think about it, it truly is. We are lent to earth to learn, explore and discover and then one day return to where we came from. If you think about your own child being given to someone else for a while and then the overwhelming joy you would have when they were returned! When people pass away you almost always here "They were called home"......We don't understand why some are called sooner than others but I do believe that we will  all see each other again. Each day that goes by means it is one day closer to seeing them again.....

One of Kari's favorite songs...I can hear her singing it to Jayda  while they flutter in the heavenly breeze. Spread your wings and fly pretty butterflies!

   

Share the Love

There are many things in my life that remind me of Kari....the "Auntie Angel Pin" Kari gave me that I keep pinned to the zipper in my purse... I see it every day and I think of Kari every day. Perfume, bracelets, a plant to name only a few. Kari had a spider plant which her mother Charlene, my sister, took home and is nuturing. Everytime it produces new shoots she clips them and gives them to people she loves. I got to take home 2, one for me and one for Anthony. The other day I found the perfect pot for them and I have them sitting on my kitchen table....I will also share the love when my plant is mature enough to sprout.  

The smallest of things or the simplest, happiest moments shared are the ones that carry the most weight in the memories department. Kari isn't with us in body but I know she is here in spirit....I am learning to open up my heart so that I am tuned in to the moments when she may "come by". 

My mind is always going and I am constantly thinking...it is hard to turn it off sometimes. One of the things I have been concentrating on is how to display some of the jewelry I have been making. I take in all sorts of ideas until it finally clicks with what I want. I try and try and try and I'm still not satisfied. I may have finally come up with a great idea....for now anyway. I was in Winners yesterday with my best friend and the minute I saw this bulletin board I knew I had to have it....no "should I?"was even uttered. I picked up some clear stick pins and put everything on it. Love it!  



"It"

I have been creating earrings, bracelets and necklaces for about 6 months now and I think I have finally found my "it" piece. It has almost felt like Kari has been sitting with me..."hey Auntie try this"...or "I would do this" steering my creativity towards my own identity. It took a while but I think that this neclace is exactly what I have been somehow working towards.... I tried alot of stuff with the seed beads then on to the bigger beads.....tons of different earrings and a few different styles of necklaces. I am always drawn to the funkier side and I love silver. I had purchased some pendants and the note on the package said "Replace with your own photo"....for a few of them I didn't since the picture that was already in it was actually quite funky on it's own. It hit me one day to put pink butterflies in them...one both sides. I added the "bling" as Kari loved to add bling to everything she had.

The time spent getting to this point is representative of life...you can't rush the process. You may have an idea of where you want to be but you have no idea of what it will take to get there. Every step you take may not lead straight ahead and may actually be a speed bump but ultimately I believe with patience, faith and trust we will get there. When we do there will be such a sense of peace and joy and we will know that the tribulations we faced made us stronger and more accepting of the journey.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the only one who'll decide where you'll go. ~Dr. Seuss

It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.  ~Agnes Repplier

How often do you find yourself saying "well if only they would do this, if only they would say this, if only......" there are too many" if only's" in life. 
I am learning that you can't worry about the if only's...one big one for me is accepting that it is not up to someone else to make me happy. I have high expectations on what happines is and when I don't see actions in other people I get frustrated. A compliment, a kind word or an act of compassion or empathy goes such a long way.  I have decided that I am in control of my own happiness and I can't/shouldn't look to someone else to act in a certain way or say certain things in order to bring the happiness. It is easier said than done but I truly believe that I will be blessed in so many ways if I take control of my person and my happiness. Why should I worry about what someone else wants to do or doesn't want to do...if I want to do it then I am going to do it. Like my Mother says "you only have one chance at this thing called life" and why should we waste any precious moment wishing someone else could do something or say something to make us happy. We are in charge....we are the master of our own domain!   


Try to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment. ~Sidney Smith

As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life -- delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay -- I hold this question as a guiding light: "What do I really need right now to be happy?" What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way. ~- Sharon Salzberg